we love the idea of spaces with no rules
we love the fill those spaces with rules
we want rules for others but not ourselves
anarchy. communism. paganism. cults. open system. corporate system. hell. heavan. strict parenting. buddy parenting.
one day one of my kids said “mom, how do we have a good family if we have no rules?” another said” yea, do you ever say no?” as you listen to these questions, your mind may jump to this picture of me and my kids laying around in a pig sty home smoking weed. please abstain. i have said no a few times.
we dont have rules because we live by one simple value: mutual respect. and it works out which is nto always the case, i know i am blessed.
we live well because we chose to add on top of that another value: love.
its truly beautiful. in some way it could be called invisible rules
rules come into play when any part of the group doesnt chose to live by respect. right?
a rule is then placed into play in order to protect from damage.
we dont want to go there. but we normally we have to
some folks put rules into play ahead of time in order to control potential damage.
and as the years go on we accumulate a pile of rules and structures.
reminds me of my 80 year old brick bungalow.
when i moved in the sunroom had dirty white carpet. pulled it off. brown carpet. off. vinyl. off. some crazy tile i hoped was not asbestos. off. another layer of that crazy old tile in black. off. i paid the kids a dime for each nail they pulled. bad idea. they were the richest little school kids in town. i bartered them down to some happy meals after i ran out of money.
finally! i discovered the original foundation, a preflooring of fir wood. revitalized that with some sand paper, stencils and stains. i created a diamond pattern on the center and placed oak leaves around the edge and laquered it. its still there. timeless and gorgeous. and if the integrity is maintained it will remain and never need the stripping again.
all institutions get to the place of the sunroom floor. not bad. just is. it rules and structures attempt to protect the original values and mission.
in many places has so many layers of structures and rules that no longer can the original mission is no longer seen.
where there is a rule or structure that creates a wall between the original mission and folks ability to meet it.
move it. climb over it. GO.
and if starting from scratch. give people the chance to live out values; keeps more energy in the love area, less in the maintain area.
sometimes life seems to be all about living in this tension, huh?
Tags: change, purpose, structures
