the shema house, where the LWA guys live and i work at, is quiet this week.
perfect opportunity for me to throw away some garbage that weve collected, mostly old sofas and random stuff people give us as hand me downs, which is thoughtful, and the reason that it is hard to get rid of old crap. inevitably someone will give reason as to why we should hold onto this or that just a little more.
i understand. but i also see the need for occasional executive decision. i did the same when my kids were little. we together decided to give away some of our one hundred stuffed animals to other kids who may have none. as we went thru the animals in order to share our over abundance of bunnies, cute puppies, beanie babies and pokemon, the children loved each one and found reason to keep each one, and “gave” what amounts to “not giving” a couple of animals from their cedar chest home. the animals were not played with, or even remembered until it was time to give them away. my lesson in learning to give was failing. and i gave up. i let the kids give what their little hearts chose and when they were not home, i gave away tons more animals that my little boys never did miss.
at the quiet shema house i gave away 3 sofas and a wing chair and then noticed in its empty space: lots of crappy stains and spills all over our white carpet. we rent the home which is floored with white carpet. we have cleaned the carpet, even scubbed stains with toothbrushes on our hands and knees. the stains come back, and our busy home collects all the more. high traffic areas are now gray. and not much i can do about it. people do matter more than things to us. a lot of our people are young men. so, yea. it gets overwhelming and easier to just cover up.
i went to our local thrift store where the sales money goes to an awesome not for profit that cares for the handicapped.
i try to go thru life recycling old stuff and am mostly able to. i found there 3 new never used large area rugs, 2 of them wool,no smoke or pets, all of them work in our home ( the upside to decorating for young men) ten dollars each! bingo. i give myself a shoppers high five. im a good shopper, well trained here in the northwest burbs of chicago.
i went straight to the quiet house and layed the carpets in the center of each main room.
trying but unable to fully hide all the stains.
which is when my heart thought about hiding our family stains.
in an instant i had so many thoughts. my shoppers excitement was now replaced with a heavier heart.
we do have crap.we have love, and we have crap.
i am now talking of “real crap” ie: behavioral stains we leave upon our own names, the shema house, where we love without agenda.
stuff of the soul that we must clean and not hide.
do i hide too much of it , and not let people deal with it?
do i paint rosy pictures on blogs?
what about my own crap. do i clean others and leave my own?
do i allow so much crap to remain that it becomes overwhelming to clean?
some people must just make a mess and not think about who receives that burden.
why doesnt this crap bother anyone else?
do we not see our own crap?
if we do do we not mind it?maybe we get comfortable with it?
do we have no care about what our visitors think?
why not?
when we say “we” should clean. who is “we”?
i think this is part that humility, authenticity, honesty, love, grace, forgiveness and trust play in “family” life. sometimes we call this being real. it is the best, but sometimes feels like crap. and, we live this way at LWA. amist our fun, we do take time to be real, talk about crap. clean it up. exhibit grace. and that is why we call it the Shema house. The word Shema means to hear in such a way that you respond. we hear the needs outside and inside the home, and we respond. and…this is life.
and i left the home. full of hope that reaches far beyond my shoppers joy.
that is the shema house.
