a Love Without Agenda snapshot: Fred

Sometimes to “Love Without Agenda” is long suffering and hard. Sometimes it short and simple. Each day has a mix I would say. Some of us are great at the longer suffering love’s, and while doing so, sometimes miss the small daily opportunities that occur between the “big- important-heavier” loves’s we carry, easy to forgive ourselves since we do other ‘great’ things. I do think that greater personal wholeness and maturity is seen in our ability to just always be in a place of love. ————————– This morning our toilet in our new apartment was squirting water out of the tank. No longer a home owner, I joyfully called Fred to come fix it. Task #1. done. On to bigger things! *Kids all going to college, stuff to get, classes to discuss, forms to fill out, service projects to do, dentist visit. *Book to edit, support to give, illustrations to create. *Bills to pay, car to sell, home to sell, money business. *Some exercise and dinner to cook. *Some tougher family matters to talk through, kinda heavy emotionally. A bigger “love” we carry. My mind filled with my list. Fred, the maintenance guy, comes over early to fix our only toilet, while I am in the bathroom and in a hurry to leave for a service project to do. Serving=important. I am on my way to do IMPORTANT stuff. ” Why would he come early?!!!” I think, miffed a bit. “How annoying that he just walks in here while I’m am trying to get out of the shower, and to accommodate him! I thought, not smiling. ug. I make him wait a few. He waited patiently. He apologized. He looked like a glowing bride…this older, leathery skinned, often dirt covered, all German, hard working, all business man. I wonder why he looked so much like a bride? My empathy kicked in. I placed my very worthy to do list down for a simple ten minutes, to talk with this very worthy Fred. -”hey Fred, long day ahead?” Oh, I’m vacation! My parents here! The boss give me vacation but still make me work. ( nice, i had said this was a non emergency job) His english is limited and his German accent strong. -” Where are your parents from?” Germany! I dont see them 15 year when I come here. I am old. They are very old. I am very happy. Very happy. -” when will they go back?” I dont ask. never ask. only God know. just be happy today, dont ask. maybe they never must go. Dont question God. Everbody want to be here, America. You come from Germany? Your Grandma? You look German like you have healthy baby. ( this means that I look short, stocky and strong. German women had the ability to pop out like a dozen kids and still run the farm and often outliving their men. um, Im built for that, it is a complement from his angle ) -”yes, thank you I am German. and Irish too. ill clean up Fred, you go..” Done! I go now. Go see my parents! call me if you need fix, says Fred, still smiling and glowing like a bride. Language is not a barrier, great wisdom is often shared without words. “Dont ask God, be happy” =When God gives, enjoy it, instead of belaboring its end” “Everyone wants to come here” = how often we Americans expect more and more and impossibly more, when others are just happy to be here, even illegally and limited. “I am on vacation” =Fred has no insurance, no pension plan or paid vacation, no hope of great wealth or advancement, and most likely therefore, no hope of a wife and kids and a white picket fence in the burbs either. Just landing here and getting work was his goal. Bringing his aged parents his dream. A lot of my stress lies in fulfilling desires that Fred doesnt even get to consider. Not that I should care nothing of insurance for my kids, it is the word “stress” that is important, along with the underlying mindset of………. gratitude. And, what ever happened to the value of good, hard working men? I caught Fred’s smile. To empathize, to listen, this is simple Love Without Agenda.