http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com Fri, 12 Apr 2013 17:13:29 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2011/02/sometimes-real-needs-are-silent-when-love-looks-like-a-vacuum/ http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2011/02/sometimes-real-needs-are-silent-when-love-looks-like-a-vacuum/#comments Fri, 11 Feb 2011 03:32:35 +0000 Lisa O'Brien-Wentzel http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2011/02/sometimes-real-needs-are-silent-when-love-looks-like-a-vacuum/ Sometimes.. The way we organize and systematize “Love”, usually in the form of primary care, is not bad, but seems to cause people to go on some sort of “care auto pilot”, and weaken our muscles of empathy and compassion. Sometimes when we think “help” we think of people in certain organizational categories “homeless”, “needy child”, “elderly”. Of course this is true, helping orphans, widows and the like, is good. But it seems that it can become hard to REALLY listen, to someone outside of the “weak box” who is REALLY hurting, and not just send them off to the ‘Democratic Dept of people who help you with our tax dollars’. Because we may get THAT feeling too. The one that cares. The Read more...

]]> Sometimes.. The way we organize and systematize “Love”, usually in the form of primary care, is not bad, but seems to cause people to go on some sort of “care auto pilot”, and weaken our muscles of empathy and compassion. Sometimes when we think “help” we think of people in certain organizational categories “homeless”, “needy child”, “elderly”. Of course this is true, helping orphans, widows and the like, is good. But it seems that it can become hard to REALLY listen, to someone outside of the “weak box” who is REALLY hurting, and not just send them off to the ‘Democratic Dept of people who help you with our tax dollars’. Because we may get THAT feeling too. The one that cares. The Read more...

Sometimes.. The way we organize and systematize “Love”, usually in the form of primary care, is not bad, but seems to cause people to go on some sort of “care auto pilot”, and weaken our muscles of empathy and compassion. Sometimes when we think “help” we think of people in certain organizational categories “homeless”, “needy child”, “elderly”. Of course this is true, helping orphans, widows and the like, is good. But it seems that it can become hard to REALLY listen, to someone outside of the “weak box” who is REALLY hurting, and not just send them off to the ‘Democratic Dept of people who help you with our tax dollars’. Because we may get THAT feeling too. The one that cares. The Read more...

]]> http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2011/02/sometimes-real-needs-are-silent-when-love-looks-like-a-vacuum/feed/ 1 http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2011/01/a-disney-abc-executives-love-without-agenda-2/ http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2011/01/a-disney-abc-executives-love-without-agenda-2/#comments Sat, 29 Jan 2011 01:03:35 +0000 Lisa O'Brien-Wentzel http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/?p=1385 It was hot, loud and crowded at Cornerstone Festival in Illinois. Young artists lined the streets to play loud but purposeful and passionate music, hardcore stuff. A lot of black clothing, a lot of tatoos and piercings, a lot of life wanting to burst forth. I love young people. The LWA kids were painting on second run t-shirts the word “Stop Consuming..”, when we met “Mama Dawn” A rocker herself, she was in a band called Crumbacher as a young adult. Now a single mom of teens and a Senior Management executive at Disney-ABC in California using her musical talents. The kids that hover around her call her Mama Dawn, she appears to have 20 or so kids. In listening to her amazing story, we found that she got her name Mama Dawn by sharing her “free Read more...

]]> It was hot, loud and crowded at Cornerstone Festival in Illinois. Young artists lined the streets to play loud but purposeful and passionate music, hardcore stuff. A lot of black clothing, a lot of tatoos and piercings, a lot of life wanting to burst forth. I love young people. The LWA kids were painting on second run t-shirts the word “Stop Consuming..”, when we met “Mama Dawn” A rocker herself, she was in a band called Crumbacher as a young adult. Now a single mom of teens and a Senior Management executive at Disney-ABC in California using her musical talents. The kids that hover around her call her Mama Dawn, she appears to have 20 or so kids. In listening to her amazing story, we found that she got her name Mama Dawn by sharing her “free Read more...

It was hot, loud and crowded at Cornerstone Festival in Illinois. Young artists lined the streets to play loud but purposeful and passionate music, hardcore stuff. A lot of black clothing, a lot of tatoos and piercings, a lot of life wanting to burst forth. I love young people. The LWA kids were painting on second run t-shirts the word “Stop Consuming..”, when we met “Mama Dawn” A rocker herself, she was in a band called Crumbacher as a young adult. Now a single mom of teens and a Senior Management executive at Disney-ABC in California using her musical talents. The kids that hover around her call her Mama Dawn, she appears to have 20 or so kids. In listening to her amazing story, we found that she got her name Mama Dawn by sharing her “free Read more...

]]> http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2011/01/a-disney-abc-executives-love-without-agenda-2/feed/ 4 http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2011/01/4-men-and-a-house/ http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2011/01/4-men-and-a-house/#comments Sun, 23 Jan 2011 06:35:32 +0000 Lisa O'Brien-Wentzel http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2011/01/4-men-and-a-house/
I am super lucky enough to know some great men, very great men, the kind of men that women dream of being around, the kind of men that they think are never to be found. They live with profound purpose and values, they get crap done, they are conquers for good, smashing the bad stuff all around. They protect, they model, they sacrifice, they are patient and disciplined. They are true, passionate and yet faithful. They don’t throw away money and come home drunk, they engage with all people in real ways. They do not lay around on couches with their hands in their pants, they work hard, for others. They do not wear khaki pants and fear making changes and confrontations in life, they are strong in the right way. They are generous. They are not perfect. They do not cover Read more...

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I am super lucky enough to know some great men, very great men, the kind of men that women dream of being around, the kind of men that they think are never to be found. They live with profound purpose and values, they get crap done, they are conquers for good, smashing the bad stuff all around. They protect, they model, they sacrifice, they are patient and disciplined. They are true, passionate and yet faithful. They don’t throw away money and come home drunk, they engage with all people in real ways. They do not lay around on couches with their hands in their pants, they work hard, for others. They do not wear khaki pants and fear making changes and confrontations in life, they are strong in the right way. They are generous. They are not perfect. They do not cover Read more...

I am super lucky enough to know some great men, very great men, the kind of men that women dream of being around, the kind of men that they think are never to be found. They live with profound purpose and values, they get crap done, they are conquers for good, smashing the bad stuff all around. They protect, they model, they sacrifice, they are patient and disciplined. They are true, passionate and yet faithful. They don’t throw away money and come home drunk, they engage with all people in real ways. They do not lay around on couches with their hands in their pants, they work hard, for others. They do not wear khaki pants and fear making changes and confrontations in life, they are strong in the right way. They are generous. They are not perfect. They do not cover Read more...

]]> http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2011/01/4-men-and-a-house/feed/ 5 http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2011/01/one-womans-love-without-agenda/ http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2011/01/one-womans-love-without-agenda/#comments Sun, 23 Jan 2011 00:28:16 +0000 Lisa O'Brien-Wentzel http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2010/12/one-womans-love-without-agenda/
She is up at 5 am every morning. First, to take care of a few pets, her paying job. Then, to take care of her family. Finally, to take care of people around her in need of a little help. She wants no pay, no prize, no pictures, no converts, no business connections. Liz is part of the food redistribution process. This is what that looks like: 7am every Friday freezing rain 100 degrees pick up truck strong arms the food and the people wait Using her husbands pick up truck, off we go to Trader Joes. Outside, 20 heavy garbage bags await. They are filled with unsaleable food, still healthy but not fully fresh. Huge bags of over ripe bananas, too much weight for the bag to carry, almost too much weight for our arms to pick up. Sometimes, we knock over the grocery cart to Read more...

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She is up at 5 am every morning. First, to take care of a few pets, her paying job. Then, to take care of her family. Finally, to take care of people around her in need of a little help. She wants no pay, no prize, no pictures, no converts, no business connections. Liz is part of the food redistribution process. This is what that looks like: 7am every Friday freezing rain 100 degrees pick up truck strong arms the food and the people wait Using her husbands pick up truck, off we go to Trader Joes. Outside, 20 heavy garbage bags await. They are filled with unsaleable food, still healthy but not fully fresh. Huge bags of over ripe bananas, too much weight for the bag to carry, almost too much weight for our arms to pick up. Sometimes, we knock over the grocery cart to Read more...

She is up at 5 am every morning. First, to take care of a few pets, her paying job. Then, to take care of her family. Finally, to take care of people around her in need of a little help. She wants no pay, no prize, no pictures, no converts, no business connections. Liz is part of the food redistribution process. This is what that looks like: 7am every Friday freezing rain 100 degrees pick up truck strong arms the food and the people wait Using her husbands pick up truck, off we go to Trader Joes. Outside, 20 heavy garbage bags await. They are filled with unsaleable food, still healthy but not fully fresh. Huge bags of over ripe bananas, too much weight for the bag to carry, almost too much weight for our arms to pick up. Sometimes, we knock over the grocery cart to Read more...

]]> http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2011/01/one-womans-love-without-agenda/feed/ 5 http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2011/01/valentines-without-agenda-at-starbucks/ http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2011/01/valentines-without-agenda-at-starbucks/#comments Fri, 21 Jan 2011 18:16:26 +0000 Lisa O'Brien-Wentzel http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2011/01/valentines-without-agenda-at-starbucks/
I was in Starbucks talking with Katie, the barista and my friend. She was the “drink maker girl”, an outstanding one at that. An upbeat and chatty quadriplegic customer in a wheel chair came in and ordered some specially pressed iced coffee, with just the right kind of milk, and the right kind of syrup and the right amount of ice. He asked Katie lots of questions about the drink and the syrups as she was creating this special drink for him. Katie gracefully managed to care for his drink while she cared for a few other customers all at the same time. When Katie came around from the counter to had the man his drink, he requested that she give him a sip to try. He requested a tad more syrup, and then another sip, or two. Back around the counter and back out front she Read more...

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I was in Starbucks talking with Katie, the barista and my friend. She was the “drink maker girl”, an outstanding one at that. An upbeat and chatty quadriplegic customer in a wheel chair came in and ordered some specially pressed iced coffee, with just the right kind of milk, and the right kind of syrup and the right amount of ice. He asked Katie lots of questions about the drink and the syrups as she was creating this special drink for him. Katie gracefully managed to care for his drink while she cared for a few other customers all at the same time. When Katie came around from the counter to had the man his drink, he requested that she give him a sip to try. He requested a tad more syrup, and then another sip, or two. Back around the counter and back out front she Read more...

I was in Starbucks talking with Katie, the barista and my friend. She was the “drink maker girl”, an outstanding one at that. An upbeat and chatty quadriplegic customer in a wheel chair came in and ordered some specially pressed iced coffee, with just the right kind of milk, and the right kind of syrup and the right amount of ice. He asked Katie lots of questions about the drink and the syrups as she was creating this special drink for him. Katie gracefully managed to care for his drink while she cared for a few other customers all at the same time. When Katie came around from the counter to had the man his drink, he requested that she give him a sip to try. He requested a tad more syrup, and then another sip, or two. Back around the counter and back out front she Read more...

]]> http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2011/01/valentines-without-agenda-at-starbucks/feed/ 1 http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2011/01/daily-valentines-without-agenda/ http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2011/01/daily-valentines-without-agenda/#comments Sat, 15 Jan 2011 01:19:25 +0000 Lisa O'Brien-Wentzel http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2011/01/daily-valentines-without-agenda/ In a month it will be Valentine’s Day, the heart candies and dog biscuits are already at The Home Depot checkout. Inside of me and you, and everybody, even grouches and hard hearts, there is something just as sweet and love-evoking as candy. I would like for us to share it here on the Love Without Agenda blog. This ‘sweet stuff’ we humans have is a mixture of inspiration, innovation, collaboration, sacrifice and hope. These are energies that all humans and only humans are born with. Sharing them guarantees that we can keep them, while the adversaries of life seek to take them from us. Everyday I will post a ‘Love Without Agenda’ action, or valentine. I invite you to post your valentine as comment for others to see, some of these we will repost or Read more...

]]> In a month it will be Valentine’s Day, the heart candies and dog biscuits are already at The Home Depot checkout. Inside of me and you, and everybody, even grouches and hard hearts, there is something just as sweet and love-evoking as candy. I would like for us to share it here on the Love Without Agenda blog. This ‘sweet stuff’ we humans have is a mixture of inspiration, innovation, collaboration, sacrifice and hope. These are energies that all humans and only humans are born with. Sharing them guarantees that we can keep them, while the adversaries of life seek to take them from us. Everyday I will post a ‘Love Without Agenda’ action, or valentine. I invite you to post your valentine as comment for others to see, some of these we will repost or Read more...

In a month it will be Valentine’s Day, the heart candies and dog biscuits are already at The Home Depot checkout. Inside of me and you, and everybody, even grouches and hard hearts, there is something just as sweet and love-evoking as candy. I would like for us to share it here on the Love Without Agenda blog. This ‘sweet stuff’ we humans have is a mixture of inspiration, innovation, collaboration, sacrifice and hope. These are energies that all humans and only humans are born with. Sharing them guarantees that we can keep them, while the adversaries of life seek to take them from us. Everyday I will post a ‘Love Without Agenda’ action, or valentine. I invite you to post your valentine as comment for others to see, some of these we will repost or Read more...

]]> http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2011/01/daily-valentines-without-agenda/feed/ 1 http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2010/08/love-threw-cheerios-on-the-ground/ http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2010/08/love-threw-cheerios-on-the-ground/#comments Fri, 06 Aug 2010 18:46:11 +0000 Lisa O'Brien-Wentzel http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/?p=1289 Read more...

]]> Those little moments of Love without Agenda added up over time weave together a pattern a Love for others to see: a Legacy. My Aunt, Sister Carol Ann reminded me of the legacy my dad has given us, when she told me how she saw great love when he threw Cheerios on the ground. My Dad is a man of little words and lots of actions of love. His large tudor style home hosts all of our family gatherings, beautiful inside and out, built on a former nursery lot. Well kept, he does all of his home care himself, working as an expression of love for all who enter. One holiday as the family gathered around the kitchen table for appetizers, drink and pre dinner chat, my Dad, serving everyone and awaiting my “late as usual” arrival with Jacob-then 1yrs old, took Cheerios and scattered them on the just cleaned floor right in front of the guests. (yes, he cleaned the floor, gramma cooks) “Pat, why are you tossing Cheerios on the floor?” “Oh, Jacob likes to dust buster vacuum them up with me and so when there is no dirt on the floor, I just make some Read more...

]]> http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2010/08/love-threw-cheerios-on-the-ground/feed/ 15 http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2010/08/1282/ http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2010/08/1282/#comments Thu, 05 Aug 2010 17:55:52 +0000 Lisa O'Brien-Wentzel http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/?p=1282 Read more...

]]> Sometimes to “Love Without Agenda” is long suffering and hard. Sometimes it short and simple. Each day has a mix I would say. Some of us are great at the longer suffering love’s, and while doing so, sometimes miss the small daily opportunities that occur between the “big- important-heavier” loves’s we carry, easy to forgive ourselves since we do other ‘great’ things. I do think that greater personal wholeness and maturity is seen in our ability to just always be in a place of love. ————————– This morning our toilet in our new apartment was squirting water out of the tank. No longer a home owner, I joyfully called Fred to come fix it. Task #1. done. On to bigger things! *Kids all going to college, stuff to get, classes to discuss, forms to fill out, service projects to do, dentist visit. *Book to edit, support to give, illustrations to create. *Bills to pay, car to sell, home to sell, money business. *Some exercise and dinner to cook. *Some tougher family Read more...

]]> http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2010/08/1282/feed/ 0 http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2010/05/our-thrifty-fun/ http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2010/05/our-thrifty-fun/#comments Fri, 28 May 2010 21:25:20 +0000 Lisa O'Brien-Wentzel http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/?p=1165 Read more...

]]> We at LWA have been in “moving mode” for a month or so now. oh there’s a lot that we want to write about on our “moving from the suburbs to the city experience”: change-growth-home-challenge-creativity-people-diversity-needs-letting go-working hard……. but for today I just wanted to share some of our “thrifty fun” ideas. Whether rich or poor, we are committed to using monies wisely, trying to recycle, repurpose, DIY, work hard with our own hands and live on less. This takes us a wonderful world of creative and collaborative people, which is super inspiring. For me it feels “healthy” and somehow “right”. I even discover more creativity inside of my own self when in this space. In the past month we have: -taken our old poker table..and made it into Spencer’s desk, using only a saw, screwdriver, strong arms and our secret tool: industrial velcro ! -took an old piece of barnwood that we found and made it into a table with: sandpaper, wipe on polyurethane, random pieces of .25 cent Read more...

]]> http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2010/05/our-thrifty-fun/feed/ 10 http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2010/02/learning-to-love-with-jessie-part-2/ http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2010/02/learning-to-love-with-jessie-part-2/#comments Thu, 18 Feb 2010 19:53:28 +0000 Lisa O'Brien-Wentzel http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/?p=980 Read more...

]]> Lucky for me i make my decisions based on my dreamer parts and get there using my engineer parts. First why, then how. Otherwise we lock dreams in reality and only read about them as stories. When we adults opt out of important moments in the lives of kids, we rob them, their kids, and ourselves; we are fools to think anything is unseen. So, the fun began with Jessie in our home. My oldest son shared his solo bedroom. He no longer sat in the front seat of the car, Jessie did. He had someone older to watch older kid movies with. Sometimes they shared friends and play sports at a more mature level. He moved his role in the family as first born, to some extent. I dont think it was so easy for him. He listened to a LOT more talking than his brothers did. He listened to talking about bad hair days and feeling fat days. He helped her with math. She tells him he is smart, she is very expressive. He learns how to empathize and relate with well chosen words. I observe kids “loving without agenda” better than adults. These kids did not chose their life thus far, Read more...

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