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	<title>Love Without Agenda &#187; Culture</title>
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		<title>Learning To Love With Jessie (Part 1)</title>
		<link>http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2010/01/learning-to-love-with-jessie-pt1/</link>
		<comments>http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2010/01/learning-to-love-with-jessie-pt1/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 30 Jan 2010 21:31:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa O'Brien-Wentzel</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[girls]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parents]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/?p=974</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Quite often i see life as a sport where love is the action, every moment like a ball thrown our way for us to practice the art of loving without agenda. Jessie is in my life one of those wonderful moments, lived on. I was total &#8220;koolaid mom&#8221;, lived on a block in suburbia in [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Quite often i see life as a sport where love is the action, every moment like a ball thrown our way for us to practice the art of loving without agenda.</p>
<p>Jessie is in my life one of those wonderful moments, lived on.</p>
<p>I was total &#8220;koolaid mom&#8221;, lived on a block in suburbia in a 1920&#8242;s bungalow with charm all its own, its wooden red door always open for the neighborhood kids to become family with my 3 boys. We had tons of fun: made those tents from blankets and chairs on rainy days, ran around outside with sticks on all days, played baseball in the neighbors yard on nicer days and made stuff from playdough on special days. I made lots and lots of plates of grilled cheese sandwiches and swept lots and lots of crumbs.</p>
<p>Jessie is the only girl on the block, a couple years older than the crowd of elementary school boys; mostly happy that her super high energy and, in her teen girl mind, menacing little brother, was always at my place. She lived at first with both parents, then mom, then grandma, then dad. Troubles in her home the same as many folks encounter, her parents needing to leave home to take focused care of themselves at times.  My heart had a desire to help whomever, whenever, as i could. Love as i had practiced so far.</p>
<p>One day Jess, then in middle school, left her home upset, high emotion and the family changes are a large load to bear on a 7th grade girl. She came to live with us. My husband agreed, my boys agreed and Jessies parents agreed that this healing space could help everyone. Agreement was important. And so she stayed <img src='http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
<p>The &#8220;love and hopes and dreams&#8221; part of in me was sooo excited!  A chance to help and to love this princess. Jessie is a strong, socially gifted, leader; beautiful inside and out girl. She is speaks her mind, makes her moves, and fights her fights. She touches hearts, loves deeply and gets mad.  She has the most gorgeous curly shiny blonde hair and attractive athletic build. I want her to grow into seeing all this and finding a true purpose for it all.</p>
<p>The logical &#8220;engineer&#8221; part of me thinks thru the logistics-how are we going to make the dream happen for everyone? Does my family really understand what this means in terms of sacrifice? Will I ruin my relationship with Jessies parents in the long run?  Do we have enough bathrooms and bedrooms?</p>
<p>The &#8220;perfectionist&#8221; in me wonders if I will fail, this is the real fear.<br />
What if I cant love her correctly? What does this even mean? What does she need and can i give it to her and my family too? If i cant juggle this all i will prove that i am actually selfish and horrid and so this is a risk for me. &#8211;This is where my learning to love with Jessie begins.</p>
<p>Thus far I have loved her as it suited me, letting her enter my life as it fit rather well: watching the boys run around with sticks, cooking and doing some homework, telling her she is pretty.  These things fit very well into my agenda &#8211;and that is a perfect step one.</p>
<p>One question stuck in my mind:<br />
how do i love her freely and then let her go without ruining my own heart?<br />
if i could not do this, then i would hold to tight and harm everyone; this as some justification for the real issue, if i am honest:</p>
<p>would i damage my heart?</p>
<p>This moment could teach me to love or prove me unable, will i attempt to enter the moment?</p>
<p>or find reason to &#8220;fake injury&#8221; or &#8220;cry foul&#8221;  and not enter this moment?</p>
<p>and who would know if opted out?</p>
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		<title>being perfect</title>
		<link>http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2009/12/being-perfect/</link>
		<comments>http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2009/12/being-perfect/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 26 Dec 2009 04:32:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa O'Brien-Wentzel</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[authenticity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[perfect]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/?p=829</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[we at LWA had a &#8220;photo shoot&#8221; thing the other day. first time for me. Brad, who does our photo and design and his team worked hard, did great. the whole picture thing is not natural for me, im not a limelight person. but i write because i think i tapped into something deeper about [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>we at LWA had a &#8220;photo shoot&#8221; thing the other day. first time for me. Brad, who does our photo and design and his team worked hard, did great.</p>
<p>the whole picture thing is not natural for me, im not a limelight person. but i write because i think i tapped into something deeper about me yesterday at &#8220;the photo shoot&#8221;</p>
<p>i not only fail to be one of those &#8220;picture perfect women&#8221;, i dont think i really  want to be? its not a fear. its a choice&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;..</p>
<p>it was all about my hair&#8230;</p>
<p>i got the call to come take photos. i had just gotten my hair colored and had new aveda smoother products. AH! perfect!, i thought. i can be a perfect hair woman. i did the hair and makeup. all perfect like, highlights, shine, volume etc. and it felt&#8230;.perfect.</p>
<p>not me.  <img src='http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_confused.gif' alt=':?' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
<p>i live in chicago, and it was a cold and windy out (perfect hair ruin weather), so i walked to my photo shoot and did not bring a comb. hence, unperfect but clean and healthy messy hair. !</p>
<p>and so, i felt more like me. i wore a black tshirt, jewelry i love. and katie made me laugh and i felt like me in the pics. but i did not feel like other suburban women. i never do.  i dont look like any women on book covers, and certainly not gorgeous women in magazines-knew that.  i dont look like anchor women, or nature women, or sultry sexy women. for some reason part of me triggers into feeling like i should&#8230;&#8230;.</p>
<p>and then it hit me as i walked home. i had my chance to be perfect hair lady, and  i messed it up. why?</p>
<p>for katie and sylvia and chris and debi and tricia and women i dont yet know, and me and my values i live by.</p>
<p>you see, i blog and i talk about love without agenda, about being measured by who we are inside. and you know that EVERY woman on this planet struggles with measuring up physically&#8230;.even super models. it just doesnt matter. we want to be desired. we want to feel beautiful and loved. its not bad, the way we are created. men want to be desired too. all good,&#8211; IF&#8211; it fulfills itself correctly-which is a bit of a human struggle i&#8217;d say. but can we even hope to fulfill our desire correctly when we dont even desire ourselves?</p>
<p>the desire is not bad, the action is bad is when we measure ourselves against others, as i did yesterday and every day before and even now. i look at those &#8220;mirrors&#8221; of other women as my measure and so, i never measure up. oh im not against beauty and beautiful women and great pictures, that would be wrong thinking. i must love anothers beauty but not use it as a measure stick.</p>
<p>how can i tell young girls that they are accepted even if they  are &#8220;not perfect&#8221; if i create in me a mirror for them of the very same struggle. ? for their sake and mine, i need to be happily me. i am all for health and trying your best, this is not about excuses to be less than we can.</p>
<p>i want to mirror a healthy, authentic way to be at a personal best, and way to look more upon our insides and enjoy our outsides&#8230;. a part of what we around here call: love without agenda.</p>
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		<title>A Letter from Jesus about Christmas</title>
		<link>http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2009/12/a-letter-from-jesus-about-christmas/</link>
		<comments>http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2009/12/a-letter-from-jesus-about-christmas/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 22 Dec 2009 20:50:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jimmy Spencer Jr.</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spirituality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[christmas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jesus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mindset]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/?p=947</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m a practicing Christian&#8230;although Love Without Agenda isn&#8217;s faith based&#8211; I do recognize the powerful foundation faith can provide for loving others&#8212;this is a note my friend Andrew Wood posted and I really like it&#8217;s sentiment&#8230;and since I&#8217;m a Christian &#38; it so captures LWA&#8217;s spirit — I think its appropriate for me to share [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em>I&#8217;m a practicing Christian&#8230;although Love Without Agenda isn&#8217;s faith based&#8211; I do recognize the powerful foundation faith can provide for loving others&#8212;this is a note my friend Andrew Wood posted and I really like it&#8217;s sentiment&#8230;and since I&#8217;m a Christian &amp; it so captures LWA&#8217;s spirit — I think its appropriate for me to share this here&#8211; Love you all&#8230;.Spencer </em></p>
<p><strong>A &#8216;Letter&#8217; from Jesus about Christmas</strong></p>
<p>It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are taking My name out of the season.</p>
<p>How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own. I don&#8217;t care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate My birth, just GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER.</p>
<p>Now, having said that let Me go on. If it bothers you that the town in which you live doesn&#8217;t allow a scene depicting My birth, then just get rid of a couple of Santas and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene on your own front lawn If all My followers did that there wouldn&#8217;t be any need for such a scene on the town square because there would be many of them all around town.</p>
<p>Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a holiday tree, instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all trees. You can remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine if you wish: I actually spoke of that one in a teaching, explaining who I am in relation to you and what each of our tasks were. If you have forgotten that one, look up John 15: 1 &#8211; 8.</p>
<p>If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of My birth here is my wish list. Choose something from it:</p>
<p><strong>1.</strong> Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My birthday is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away from home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this time of year. I know, they tell Me all the time.</p>
<p><strong>2.</strong> Visit someone in a nursing home. You don&#8217;t have to know them personally.. They just need to know that someone cares about them.</p>
<p><strong>3. </strong>Instead of writing the President complaining about the wording on the cards his staff sent out this year, why don&#8217;t you write and tell him that you&#8217;ll be praying for him and his family this year. Then follow up&#8230;.. It will be nice hearing from you again.</p>
<p><strong>4.</strong> Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can&#8217;t afford and they don&#8217;t need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of My birth, and why I came to live with you down here. Hold them in your arms and remind them that I love them.</p>
<p><strong>5</strong> Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive him or her.</p>
<p><strong>6.</strong> Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their own life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless? Since you don&#8217;t know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile; it could make the difference.</p>
<p><strong>7.</strong> Instead of nit-picking about what the retailer in your town calls the holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a warm smile and a kind word. Even if they aren&#8217;t allowed to wish you a &#8220;Merry Christmas&#8221; that doesn&#8217;t keep you from wishing them one. Then stop shopping there on Sunday.. If the store didn&#8217;t make so much money on that day they&#8217;d close and let their employees spend the day at home with their families.</p>
<p><strong>8.</strong> If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary&#8211; especially one who takes My love and Good News to those who have never heard My name.</p>
<p><strong>9.</strong> Here&#8217;s a good one. There are individuals and whole families in your town who not only will have no &#8220;Christmas&#8221; tree, but neither will they have any presents to give or receive. If you don&#8217;t know them, buy some food and a few gifts and give them to the Salvation Army or some other charity which believes in Me and they will make the delivery for you.</p>
<p><strong>10</strong>. Finally, if you want to make a statement about your belief in and loyalty to Me, then BEHAVE like a Christian. Don&#8217;t do things in secret that you wouldn&#8217;t do in My presence. Let people know by your actions that you are one of mine.</p>
<p>Don&#8217;t forget; I am God and can take care of Myself. Just love Me and do what I have told you to do. I&#8217;ll take care of all the rest.</p>
<p>Check out the list above and get to work; time is short. I&#8217;ll help you, but the ball is now in your court. And do have a most blessed Christmas with all those whom you love &#8212; and remember:</p>
<p>I love you all</p>
<p>Jesus</p>
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		<title>Why We&#8217;re Giving Away Our Book</title>
		<link>http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2009/12/why-were-giving-away-our-book/</link>
		<comments>http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2009/12/why-were-giving-away-our-book/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 Dec 2009 04:55:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jimmy Spencer Jr.</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mindset]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[purpose]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/?p=767</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I posted this question &#8220;Ask us why we are giving our book away for free&#8221; I went and took an hour or so nap—— and came back to 10 people who wanted an answer. So here you go. Our book is about you. It&#8217;s about the meaning of life— it&#8217;s about us loving ourselves and [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I posted this question &#8220;Ask us why we are giving our book away for free&#8221;</p>
<p>I went and took an hour or so <img src='http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_wink.gif' alt=';)' class='wp-smiley' />  nap—— and came back to 10 people who wanted an answer.</p>
<p>So here you go.</p>
<p>Our book is about you. It&#8217;s about the meaning of life— it&#8217;s about us loving ourselves and other people. It also about how to actually be that type person from the inside out&#8211; and finally its about— all the things that stop us from living and thinking like that.</p>
<p>Its my take on what practicing christianity is supposed to be: love without agenda</p>
<p>anyways&#8230;</p>
<p>The main force on this planet eroding our ability to see people as valuable is this mindset of being a perpetual customer— that no matter where we go or what we do—— the world (and the people in it) are simply here for our use&#8230;and we just fail to see people as valuable.</p>
<p>people become fuel for our desires<br />
people become fuel for my success<br />
people become fuel for my emotional neediness<br />
people become competition to get the material things in my life that I want<br />
people become only valuable if they can buy and sell things with me</p>
<p>people become valuable to Love Without Agenda only if they buy our book</p>
<p>and that is not true.</p>
<p>people are valuable.<br />
you are valuable.</p>
<p>and you shouldn&#8217;t have to buy a book&#8230;<br />
to hear that.</p>
<p>Because we dont want you to be our customers&#8230;<br />
We want you to be our friends and co-world changers.</p>
<p>So we&#8217;re giving the book away for free to anyone</p>
<p>who needs it<br />
wants it<br />
is curious enough to read just a page or two</p>
<p>We&#8217;re giving the book away to you<br />
because your too valuable&#8230;<br />
to NOT have a deep understanding of yourself— and run in that simple freedom.<br />
to NOT have a deep understanding of other— and to love them for who they are</p>
<p>Without Agenda.</p>
<p>How could we force people to pay for a message like that?<br />
How hypocritical would we be?</p>
<p>Making people pay for a book that says that the customer within us the main barrier to experiencing humanity as it was designed to be?</p>
<p>just not right.</p>
<p>So we give the book away to you— in hopes that you will not just read it..but that you will spread it, share it, discuss it with the people in your life that need to be loved—</p>
<p>but most of all live it.</p>
<p>I hope you all enjoy the book.<br />
I love ya.</p>
<p>Spencer</p>
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		<title>Because He&#8217;s a Boy</title>
		<link>http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2009/12/because-hes-a-boy/</link>
		<comments>http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2009/12/because-hes-a-boy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 Dec 2009 04:31:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa O'Brien-Wentzel</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[growth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[manhood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parenting]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/?p=133</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[last cold and snowy sunday in chicago as the boys were carrying in the food from tim&#8217;s trunk, we adults who were cooking, look out the window to gaze upon this lovely family ritual, and see the youngest boy throwing dinner rolls into the snow. &#8220;why is he throwing dinner rolls at the snow?!&#8221;, one [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>last cold and snowy sunday in chicago as the boys were carrying in the food from tim&#8217;s trunk, we adults who were cooking, look out the window to gaze upon this lovely family ritual, and see the youngest boy throwing dinner rolls into the snow.<br />
&#8220;why is he throwing dinner rolls at the snow?!&#8221;, one of the guys said.<br />
&#8221; because he&#8217;s a boy i said&#8221; as i giggled inside with the joy for i now i see such illogical behavior as logical.</p>
<p>Today my oldest of 3 sons turns 18. and i think back to all of the things that boys just do. because, they are boys. i guess. although of course, as we train our boys not to just throw food in the snow, i find a crazy beauty of manhood in such behaviors. and i know that without some of these male desires, the world would not have bridges or spaceships and airplanes, or meat.</p>
<p>life is choked by control. it is fed by guidance and nurture. i wonder if we sometimes choke men and actually just squeeze the life so that if it cant do what it was made to do, it then does what it was not made to do, for desire is given by God.<br />
so, let men be men<br />
and when you see a little boy in action and ask yourself these questions:</p>
<p>see the joy in this boy-<br />
why are there sticks and rocks in your pocket?<br />
why do you sleep with marbles under your pillow?<br />
do you have to wrestle in the kitchen doorway right now?<br />
do you have to make a super hero cape out of my best cashmere blanket?<br />
why do you want to play on the roof?<br />
do you have to swing from a tree into the leaf pile, is not just running and jumping good enough?<br />
why are your shoes wet?<br />
why do you make so much noise?<br />
cant you sit still?<br />
why are you jousting with chopsticks and straws?<br />
must we try to burn everything in the firepit? cant we just roast the marshmallows?<br />
have you changed your clothes this week?<br />
why is there mud all over this towel?<br />
why are you playing golf with the plunger?<br />
do we have to bring your football into your carseat?<br />
why is the remote control taken completely apart again?<br />
why are there bugs in the freezer?<br />
why are you microwaving candles?<br />
do you really just want bungee cords for christmas?<br />
did you use all of my buckets making squirrel traps?<br />
and all of my rubber bands making sling shots?<br />
what can you not turn into a gun?<br />
why are you boys sword fighting with my swiffers?<br />
please dont hit each other too hard?<br />
why is there a rip in your pants?<br />
why are you running with squirt guns in the house?<br />
yes, i see the car wheels, honey.<br />
i hope dad is not the victim for that scotch tape and yarn booby-trap?   and&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;</p>
<p>&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;  now please&#8230;.. dont : burb-fart-laugh &#8230;at grandmas house</p>
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<media:title type="plain"><![CDATA[Because He&#8217;s a Boy]]></media:title>
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		<title>LWA &amp; Faith (Neue Magazine repost)</title>
		<link>http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2009/12/lwa-and-faith/</link>
		<comments>http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2009/12/lwa-and-faith/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 01 Dec 2009 22:24:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jimmy Spencer Jr.</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Spirituality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[values]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/?p=881</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I wrote this as a featured article for a christian leadership magazine called Neue Magazine (NeueMagazine.com)that asked me to explain my personal view on Love Without Agenda and my faith&#8230; hope you enjoy “I don’t want to talk about church.” Thats what she said. Didn’t blink. Didn’t smile. She just picked up some food and [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>I wrote this as a featured article for a christian leadership magazine called Neue Magazine (<a href="http://www.neuemagazine.com">NeueMagazine.com</a>)that asked me to explain my personal view on Love Without Agenda and my faith&#8230; hope you enjoy</strong></p>
<p><em>“I don’t want to talk about church.”</em></p>
<p>Thats what she said. Didn’t blink. Didn’t smile.</p>
<p>She just picked up some food and said “thank you”&#8211;and went on her way.</p>
<p>My co-founder had met her at work. They both picked up morning shifts to have health insurance. Kim was a really nice lady. Friendly, chatty, always willing to make pleasant small talk about work or what here kids were up to.</p>
<p>Thats why her statement caught me off guard. It was like a religious preemptive strike. A warning shot across my proverbial bow&#8230;.the message was simple.</p>
<p>“Your a nice guy, and I appreciate the help&#8212; but don’t try to get me to join anything”</p>
<p>I got the message loud and clear. In fact, the more I get involved with my neighborhood’s life, the more I realize the stigma attached to churches&#8230; and ‘religious people’. Its not a pretty picture. There is a lot of mistrust&#8211;and that’s where Kim was.</p>
<p><strong>The Kingdom of God is about dying to our agenda.</strong></p>
<p>Over the next year we shared food with Kim and her two children. She learned who we were&#8211;not through what we said&#8211;but by how we loved her and her family.</p>
<p>-We played with her kids while she picked out food.<br />
-We set aside food that we knew her son especially enjoyed.<br />
-We made small talk&#8211;and left Jesus off the table.<br />
-We listened.</p>
<p>About a year later Kim showed up to our house with a gift for us. A really sweet cart to move food around on. Stainless steel. Expensive. She said it was going to be thrown out at work, and she thought of us. She was excited to share it with us.</p>
<p>We were very grateful for such a nice gift.</p>
<p>About a month later Kim asked if we could help. She needed someone to pack and move her entire house&#8211; she had no one else to turn to. One rainy Saturday  we rounded up a bunch of teens and got to work. Everyone hustled and laughed. She made chili. We ate a LOT of chili and moved a LOT of boxes. It was a good day.</p>
<p>We loved without an agenda.</p>
<p>Shocking how powerful love is when we truly&#8211;deep inside our hearts&#8211;set down our agenda to show people The Truth and trust God to change someone’s heart without forcing the issue. Even if that doesn’t lead to someone’s conversion. We have to drop our desire to control the outcome&#8230;we have to set down our agenda&#8230;no matter how noble. We have to trust that God loves people more than us&#8211;and He will do the heavy lifting.</p>
<p><strong>The Kingdom of God is spread by each of us loving the person in front of us.</strong></p>
<p>We have have grown increasingly dependent upon institutions to spread the Gospel and do the work of The Kingdom of God..this has to change.</p>
<p>The Kingdom was designed to be spread by bus drivers, and baristas. It’s spread through teenagers with pimples, and moms who drive minivans. By fisherman and IRS agents. Its spread through red, yellow, black, and white people. It’s spread by you and me. Moment by moment.</p>
<p>It’s spread virally from human to human. People who choose to love others- not to convert them- simply because the person in front of them is made in the image of our Father. It’s spread through people who choose to see themselves as carriers of Kingdom of God, and use each moment in their life to reflect Jesus, the Son of God, to whomever comes across their path.</p>
<p>When we stop seeing people as fuel for our institution’s fire&#8211;and start seeing them as Jesus sees them..then we will start to experience The Kingdom of God.</p>
<p>People who choose to set down their agenda and engage this process are called The Kingdom of God. When we do this together community is born.</p>
<p>These are difficult lessons for me to learn&#8211;but people like Kim help me.</p>
<p><strong>Speaking of Kim&#8230;</strong></p>
<p>She has been watching the whole time&#8230;</p>
<p>When the time was right&#8211;she brought Jesus up. She was open. We had built trust through our lives-and she wanted to help others like she had been helped. She jumped  in- and now her and her kids bring food with us to the assisted living home. They seem to meet Jesus a little more each trip.</p>
<p>Has she ‘accepted Jesus’?</p>
<p>No.</p>
<p>But that not what we are trying to do.<br />
We&#8217;re just trying to love her and let her make her own decisions about her spirituality&#8230;</p>
<p>And she has accepted us- the ‘little Christs’. She knows she is loved and she senses there is something deep, powerful, joyful and collaborative about our Way.</p>
<p>I’ve learned a profound truth: God doesn’t force me to choose between words and actions. I had to truly- deep inside my heart- love her enough to not force Truth upon her. I learned it’s just as much about me- and my heart- as it is about hers.</p>
<p><strong>The challenge for our communities&#8230;</strong></p>
<p>One day while Kim and I were chatting she opened up and shared this:</p>
<p><em>“Most church’s only help people because they want them to join their church and get their money&#8230;they really don’t care&#8211;they just want to grow their church”</em></p>
<p>Having an agenda to simply get people to join your Sunday service will cause people to question your sincerity. It will place you among the countless other consumer based groups jockeying for their time and money and resources. This is not perceived as love- its seen as marketing- and people smell it a mile away.</p>
<p>It drives them away from the very thing we hope to show them.</p>
<p>There is another Way</p>
<p>This Way asks me to set down my leadership agenda, and trust God. This Way asks my community to renew its focus on serving and loving without an expectation of more people coming to our church service. This Way loves people because they are&#8230;people.</p>
<p>This is The Way of Jesus&#8230;to love without agenda.</p>
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		<title>&#8220;Playing Church&#8221; article from Neue Magazine</title>
		<link>http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2009/12/playing-church-article-from-neue-resources-repost/</link>
		<comments>http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2009/12/playing-church-article-from-neue-resources-repost/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 01 Dec 2009 17:11:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jimmy Spencer Jr.</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spirituality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[church]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jesus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[purpose]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[I was very happy to see the folks over at Neue Magazine (www.neuemagazine.com) reposted an article I did for them last year about &#8220;Playing Church.&#8221; It&#8217;s an article about my journey of faith, and me realizing that building a church wasn&#8217;t he only way for me to discover my purpose. I hope you all like [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I was very happy to see the folks over at Neue Magazine (<a href="http://www.neuemagazine.com">www.neuemagazine.com</a>) reposted an article I did for them last year about &#8220;Playing Church.&#8221; It&#8217;s an article about my journey of faith, and me realizing that building a church wasn&#8217;t he only way for me to discover my purpose. I hope you all like it. Check the article out on Neue&#8217;s very cool book viewer on their site and post what you think.<br/><br/><br/><br/></p>
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<a href="http://issuu.com/Neue/docs/neue01?mode=embed&amp;layout=http%3A%2F%2Fskin.issuu.com%2Fv%2Fcolor%2Flayout.xml&amp;backgroundColor=FFFFFF&amp;showFlipBtn=true&amp;pageNumber=65" target="_blank">Click here to read the full article (in larger format)</a></a></p>
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		<title>Cool Hand Luke &#8211; Sleeping House Review</title>
		<link>http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2009/11/cool-hand-luke-sleeping-house-review/</link>
		<comments>http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2009/11/cool-hand-luke-sleeping-house-review/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 17 Nov 2009 20:52:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jimmy Spencer Jr.</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cool Hand Luke]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[music review]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Christian music still has a soul. That&#8217;s the thought that leaps to my mind as I listen to frontman, Mark Nicks stretch his voice across the opening chords of Cast Your Bread, the second track on the newly released Sleeping House album. The Sleeping House is the first effort for Cool Hand Luke on their [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Christian music still has a soul.</p>
<p>That&#8217;s the thought that leaps to my mind as I listen to frontman, Mark Nicks stretch his voice across the opening chords of Cast Your Bread, the second track on the newly released Sleeping House album. The Sleeping House is the first effort for Cool Hand Luke on their new label Lujo Records&#8230;. and it&#8217;s  excellent.</p>
<p>I have to admit, I have known Nicks for a couple of years&#8211; he&#8217;s crashed at my community house, eaten my food, and gotten lost with my lame directions in downtown Chicago, and we&#8217;ve chatted when times have gotten tough.  Some folks would say that makes me biased&#8211;I say it makes me informed.</p>
<p>When I hear Nicks sing the words:</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve been so many people to so many people&#8230;</p>
<p>but i Just want to be who you want me to be.</p>
<p>I know he means it. I know he lives it&#8230;I know we&#8217;re all getting a clear picture of Nick&#8217;s contemplative, and pure heart.</p>
<p>So if your interested in delving deep into the mind of a guy who personifies the anti-rock star. A guy who is quietly, and sometimes painfully, searching for answers&#8212;and has the ability to put his experiences, questions, and voice, over some seriously dynamic pieces of music&#8230;</p>
<p>The Sleeping House is right up your alley.</p>
<p>Here&#8217;s my review of Cool Hand Luke&#8217;s Sleeping House:</p>
<p>A soul laid bare over piano keys, and electric guitars. That&#8217;s the Sleeping House. The beauty of this album is not in the catchy rifts  [although there are quite a few]. The beauty of The Sleeping House is the transparency with which it is written and performed.  Cool Hand Luke has a driving piano style, influenced by NIcks hard-core music background.  It makes for an interesting sonic adventure.</p>
<p>Unlike most music I hear, The Sleeping House is complex. Too complex for my humble  reviewing talents. Most of the songs on the album have some narrative about life&#8230;not simply expressing one emotion or thought. Each song seems to have a journey of its own&#8230;and the album acts as  a collection of those journeys. I highly recommend having the lyrics around as you listen&#8211;it makes the experience a richer one.</p>
<p>The album starts with an entire instrumental track&#8211; which is ironic for a band with so much to say. It sets the mood and helps me slow down. It&#8217;s a soil tiller. I feel as if I&#8217;m descending into deep waters.  Ahhh..the beautiful mixing of metaphors.</p>
<p>Some highlights from the album include Failing in Love, a song about telling the truth, and difficulties it can bring. The preacher in me resonates with its thought pattern&#8230;plus I dig the grinding flow of the beat. Buy The Truth is a song I believe will be the first single&#8211;and rightly so. It ponders the affects of selling religion. When Nick&#8217;s sings:</p>
<p>&#8220;Wave at the crowds who give me their money like it was religion&#8221;</p>
<p>I want to stand up and scream&#8211;yes yes yes!!!</p>
<p>Once again the preacher in me comes out.</p>
<p>Other notable tracks include The Mirror, a song about Nick&#8217;s ability to be a chameleon&#8230;and his efforts to remember who he really [and simply] is. &#8220;Wonder Tour&#8221; has a Beatles vibe, which works for this song&#8211;and it has a couple zinger lines. Which I love too. It ends with:</p>
<p>&#8220;To the paychecks we have trusted..instead of You&#8221;</p>
<p>ZING.</p>
<p>In general, the album is probably not something you blast at an event. It&#8217;s probably not perfect to be played in a Sunday morning worship set&#8211;although if you could pull one off for a special you would have something&#8211;well&#8211;special. No, this album is something you listen to when your ready to think and grow and be challenged and inspired. This album will move you, if you slow down to let it soak into your pores. I recommend slowing down. Its worth it.</p>
<p>Overall the Sleeping House is a complex look at a complex world, thru the eyes of a complex man&#8211;with a simple faith.</p>
<p>Like life, The Sleeping House, has it&#8217;s dark moments [when I fired it up my laptop--my intern asked me..."is that Trent Reznor? That's some cool dark music!" ]</p>
<p>Ultimately, this album truly is the journey of a hopeful heart, it paints the picture  of a heart that chooses to point itself toward Hope.</p>
<p>Through every song&#8217;s story&#8211;and through the whole album&#8217;s journey&#8230;there is Hope.</p>
<p>and if you ask Mark Nicks I&#8217;m sure he would tell you&#8230;</p>
<p>Hope has a name.</p>
<p>Check out the Sleeping House—available today on iTunes.</p>
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		<title>Response to &#8220;Letter from 2012 in Obama&#8217;s America&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2009/10/response-to-letter-from-2012-in-obamas-america/</link>
		<comments>http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2009/10/response-to-letter-from-2012-in-obamas-america/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 24 Oct 2009 20:49:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jimmy Spencer Jr.</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[politics]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/?p=484</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Focus on The Family Action released a 16 page letter entitled &#8220;Letter from 2012 in Obama&#8217;s America,&#8221; on October 22. It was written to portray what life would be like in the future should Barack Obama, a Christian, become President. In the first page the letter, from a future Christian, states it purpose: &#8220;So here [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Focus on The Family Action released a 16 page letter entitled &#8220;Letter from 2012 in Obama&#8217;s America,&#8221; on October 22. It was written to portray what life would be like in the future should Barack Obama, a Christian, become President.<br />
In the first page the letter, from a future Christian, states it purpose:</p>
<p>&#8220;So here is a picture of the changes that are likely or at least very possible if Senator Obama is elected and the far-Left segments of the Democratic Party gain control of the White House, the Congress, and perhaps then the Supreme Court.&#8221;<br />
Hold onto your hats &#8230; this letter has some bombs in it.</p>
<p>According to Focus on the Family here a few of the 25 events that will likely take place if Barack Obama is elected:<br />
* The Supreme Court would pass law that legalizes same sex marriage across the US<br />
* Elementary schools will mandate homosexuality as a choice to children<br />
* Christian radio stations will be removed from the airwaves<br />
* Churches will be forced to hire homosexuals and host homosexual weddings&#8211;or lose 501c3<br />
* Christian nurses and doctors banned from practice&#8211;after Obama forces them to do abortions.<br />
* Pornography is mandated to be openly displayed in gas stations, newsstands, and grocery stores<br />
* Home Schooling has been outlawed<br />
* 4 US cities have been bombed, Obama does nothing in response<br />
* Obama increases funding to known terrorist allies.<br />
* Obama deepens ties to Communist nations and Communist revolutions break out in Latin America<br />
* Tel Aviv is destroyed when the new USSR launches a nuclear attack against Israel.<br />
That&#8217;s a brief look at the world from Focus on The Family&#8217;s perspective should Obama be elected. All of these things assume that Obama does nothing to stop these events or perhaps encourages them. I would highly suggest getting a copy of the letter and reading it for yourself.</p>
<p>The letter wraps with the future Christian asking the question: &#8220;Who is to blame?&#8221; I find it interesting that the people to blame are naive Christians who have allowed Obama into office.<br />
My Reaction to James Dobson &amp; Focus on the Family.<br />
I&#8217;m not a political writer and this is not a political commentary.<br />
I am not a Democrat. I&#8217;m not a Republican. So I&#8217;m not coming from the standard pro-Obama viewpoint. I&#8217;m not here to defend Barack Obama, or John McCain. I&#8217;m here to ask what Jesus would think about all this.</p>
<p>This letter is a direct reflection of James Dobson&#8217;s worldview&#8230; a worldview many assume reflects the heart of Jesus. That puts the proverbial ball into my wheelhouse.</p>
<p>Here are my conclusions from this published letter:<br />
I see nothing distasteful about religious people endorsing a candidate:</p>
<p>Religious people should have the right to endorse and promote their candidate. This is good and healthy. It&#8217;s the American way. Pastors of churches legally have the right to abstain form influencing their congregations politically. However, many influencers in the world of Christianity are not legally pastors. They may be writers, or speakers.</p>
<p>It is my opinion that religious voices need to be a part of the conversation in our country. So on this account&#8211; Focus on the Family and Dobson deserve to be commended for engaging.</p>
<p>Change happens within the context of dialogue, not slander:<br />
We have a responsibility to represent the name of Jesus with integrity. People are watching. You want to know why there is even a fear of &#8220;hate speech&#8221; laws being enacted? Read this letter. Why do homosexuals claim Christians hate them? Read this letter. Why are Christians increasingly being marginalized in society? Read this letter folks &#8230; and you will know exactly why we&#8217;re at this crossroads in society. I&#8217;m ashamed at the tactics taken by Dobson and his crew.</p>
<p>This letter is not about creating meaningful dialogue. We cant scream that if Obama gets elected the world will end&#8211;and set forth apocalyptic visions&#8211;and then claim to love him.</p>
<p>We cant slander a man so disgracefully in the name of &#8220;Truth&#8221; and then expect a pat on the back come Judgment day.<br />
We reap what we sow&#8230;</p>
<p>If we slander &#8220;them&#8221; (whoever that may be) &#8230; don&#8217;t be shocked when they slander us.</p>
<p>Which begs the question&#8211; does Focus on the Family even care about slandering someone publicly? What does the Bible have to say? What about Jesus&#8211;is this His Way?</p>
<p>This letter&#8217;s tone and intent does not reflect the Way of Jesus.</p>
<p>The Way of Jesus is different from society&#8217;s.</p>
<p>Jesus conquered through love &#8230; not fear. Certainly not hate. This letter reflects the way of society&#8211;not Jesus. What happens if Focus on the Family is &#8220;successful&#8221; in its campaign against Obama? If you overpower a strong man through violence and slander&#8211;don&#8217;t be shocked when a more powerful, and more persuasive person throws you off the hill soon. This is the pattern of politics&#8211;and society&#8211; that Focus on the Family has stooped to.</p>
<p>Even if Obama was evil&#8211;and Focus on the Family helps defeat him with a slanderous letter&#8211;all Dobson has accomplished is to repeat the cycle of society.</p>
<p>He has missed the whole point of Jesus.</p>
<p>Jesus showed us a new Way. A Way that compels followers to love our enemies so extravagantly that the watching world rises to our defense, or walks away compelled to investigate further. A Way that sheds light on conversions through follower&#8217;s unwillingness to fight fire with fire. A Way that shows the world what it truly means to be human. This is the Way of Jesus. The pattern of Jesus. It is a Way of love. A conquering and raging love, unstoppable, unshakable&#8211; and unmistakably different from what we demonstrated in this letter<br />
In Conclusion.</p>
<p>Ultimately, its not my place to judge or condemn Dobsons tactics. But it is frustrating and sad that this letter will muddy the name of Jesus&#8211;and I certainly cant see how it advances The Kingdom of God. In general, I will continue my assigned work for The Kingdom of God&#8211; and let The Foreman deal with other workers. I honestly believe God allows people to expose themselves for who they are&#8211; for good or for evil. I choose to see Dobson as a brother who has lost a bit of perspective&#8230;perhaps he will read his own letter and realize the path he has chosen. Perhaps my letter will open a dialogue. Either way I love him and Barack Obama&#8212;because that who I choose to be.<br />
My Way is a Way of Love.</p>
<p>I would like to Dr. Dobson to ponder this: The opening paragraph of your letter refers to Obama and quotes Jesus in Matthew 7:16. He says: &#8220;you will recognize them by their fruits.&#8221;</p>
<p>What type of fruit is this Dr. Dobson?</p>
<p>Respectfully,<br />
Jimmy Spencer</p>
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<media:title type="plain"><![CDATA[Response to &#8220;Letter from 2012 in Obama&#8217;s America&#8221;]]></media:title>
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		<title>Brandom Grissom &#8211; Brighter (EP) Review</title>
		<link>http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2009/10/brandom-grissom-brighter-ep-review/</link>
		<comments>http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/2009/10/brandom-grissom-brighter-ep-review/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 24 Oct 2009 20:48:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jimmy Spencer Jr.</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[music review]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.lovewithoutagenda.com/?p=482</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[There a some seriously horrible worship albums out there. I want let you in on a secret. A diamond in the rough. His name is Brandon Grissom&#8230; and he&#8217;s the the real deal. Living in the Chicago area, I get to meet some very creative and talented people. Living in the back yard of Willow [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>There a some seriously horrible worship albums out there.</p>
<p>I want let you in on a secret.</p>
<p>A diamond in the rough.</p>
<p>His name is Brandon Grissom&#8230; and he&#8217;s the the real deal.</p>
<p>Living in the Chicago area, I get to meet some very creative and talented people. Living in the back yard of Willow Creek Community Church&#8211; I am friends with many young, shiny faces that come to Willow from around the world because of their gifting. Often these folks, while talented, seem to be on the &#8216;fast track&#8217; to become minor christian celebrities and, to be brutally honest, lack a collaborative heart. The bright lights of the mega church [and the notoriety and salary that come with it] have drawn them like moths to a flame&#8230;.and some hearts just get burnt up.</p>
<p>Grissom seems to have escaped all this nonsense.</p>
<p>Why is all this important for a music review?</p>
<p>It&#8217;s really simple&#8230;if you are going to make real worship music&#8211; what&#8217;s in your heart is 99% of the battle.</p>
<p>Out of a man&#8217;s heart flows his music. Out of a man&#8217;s heart flows his lyrics.</p>
<p>You should investigate Brandon Grissom&#8217;s heart.</p>
<p>The Brighter EP Review</p>
<p>The Brighter EP is the first independent release of worship songs for Grissom.  He has several other great worship albums through Willow Creek that are worth buying , but the Brighter EP is a slight departure from those past efforts&#8211; the whole EP [5 songs] is a nice little adventure&#8230;</p>
<p>The title track is my favorite. Brighter is a, catchy, anthem song. It has a snazzy little hook that has you humming it for the rest of the day. It has theological punch. This song also is straight forward&#8211; so it won&#8217;t be hard for your team to perform it live.  Check it out.</p>
<p>There are two other tracks that will  play really well from the front of your stage on a Sunday morning or evening. Liberty -a track that can hold it&#8217;s own in a set full of Crowder or Tomlin. The more I listen to Liberty [I've been listening to it the whole hour it has taken me to write this review...man I write slow?] the more I think it might be my &#8216;other&#8217; favorite. Whatever that means. Arms of Mercy is the another  track that is great for live performance -a bit more reflective- original and fresh&#8211; I have seen this one on the Willow main stage. It was warmly received by people.</p>
<p>The rest of the songs each find a natural, and authentic place on the album.  &#8220;I Have Decided&#8221; is a half track&#8211; sounds like he&#8217;s just hanging in the studio&#8211;and the engineer secretly recorded something gentle, unexpected and genuine. God Most High is a heart felt conversation with God</p>
<p>I wholly recommend going out and investigating the Brighter EP. He is a welcomed and fresh voice in a world gone stale. He has the chops to carve his own place amongst the worship gypsies of modern Christian music.  He has the heart to  not get too caught up in himself&#8230; so I think God will continue to use him. Essentially, He&#8217;s a real nice guy making really great worship music for people. No rock star wannabe stuff going on here&#8230;the more I listen to him&#8211;the more I want to find a way to communicate that you should check this guy out&#8230;OK? Enough said.</p>
<p>Lets hope his work gets noticed&#8230;we need more people like him on stages across the world</p>
<p>So—whether you need a few new creative songs for your service, or your like me and you just need something to blast on your ipod on a sunny day&#8230;</p>
<p>Brandon Grissom&#8217;s music makes your heart feel  Brighter.</p>
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