Love Without Agenda

Happy Holidays from Spencer

Jimmy Spencer Jr. — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 22:02:09 +0000

LWA FoodShares: People Changing Their Neighborhoods

Jimmy Spencer Jr. — Sat, 16 Jul 2011 19:03:35 +0000

Things change when neighborhoods work together to feed one another. It galvanizes everyones dignity and humanity.

Sometimes programs that ‘help’ people while feeding their belly’s strip their dignity. I’m happy our FoodShares encourage not just taking food but building community thru sharing food resources LWA connects them with. I’ve witnessed the personal transformation of men, women and children who were once skeptical, stand-offish and disenfranchised…become community stalwarts inspiring those around them.

Our FoodShare strategy is simple.Connect people willing to work to feed their neighborhood with socially responsible grocery stores who want to partner with Love Without Agenda.

Here is how it works. Stores like Trader Joe’s donate unsellable goods to Love Without Agenda. LWA partners with community houses, social responsible organizations, local innovators and good hearted churches. Each partner is assigned a day, store and pick-up schedule. LWA FoodShare Partners drive their van to the location, pick up the food, drive it back to their neighborhood, sort the food and work with the neighborhood families to get it re-distributed to people in need.

This simple strategy allows neighbors to work together to feed their own neighborhood. It allows people in each neighborhood to decide how the food is shared, and is a flexible, simple and dignified way for people to get some amazingly healthy food to needy families.

It’s extremely effective and efficient. Currently, we’re only working with 3 stores in Chicago. These three stores and their corresponding FoodShares redistribute an average of $8,000 to $10,000 of free food a week. That is an average of $416,000 to $520,000 worth of food each year redistributed with the simple partnership of a few generous grocery stores and a few willing volunteers—and a few collaborative neighborhoods.

With the help of socially responsible corporations like Trader Joe’s and LWA volunteers like you…we’re helping neighbors feed one another. We’re helping neighborhoods change themselves—restoring and reminding everyone of their value and dignity. The LWA FoodShare program is just one example of how Love Without Agenda maximizes your ability to change the world—and yourself—one act of love at a time.

Thanks to everyone who makes neighborhoods better thru their local LWA FoodShare!

About Rob Bell and the importance of asking questions.

Jimmy Spencer Jr. — Sun, 27 Feb 2011 00:47:14 +0000

When we as people fear people asking questions we have lost something very deeply human. Let’s learn to respect questions and strive to respectfully disagree and work together to act like Jesus. Let us be a part of the solution—not a part of the problem. Lets practice loving others who disagree with us theologically without agenda.

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Sometimes real needs are silent, when love looks like a vacuum

Lisa O'Brien-Wentzel — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 03:32:35 +0000

Sometimes.. The way we organize and systematize “Love”, usually in the form of primary care, is not bad, but seems to cause people to go on some sort of “care auto pilot”, and weaken our muscles of empathy and compassion. Sometimes when we think “help” we think of people in certain organizational categories “homeless”, “needy child”, “elderly”. Of course this is true, helping orphans, widows and the like, is good. But it seems that it can become hard to REALLY listen, to someone outside of the “weak box” who is REALLY hurting, and not just send them off to the ‘Democratic Dept of people who help you with our tax dollars’. Because we may get THAT feeling too. The one that cares. The one may have to do something.. ——————– Karen DID NOT do that. I had gone to hospital every day for 5 weeks with my kids, ages 6, 4 and 2. One by one they all had contracted E-Coli. Remember those E-Coli scares about 18 years ago? Where some folks had died from this particular strain found possibly in ground beef. Yep. That was us. Karen knew about my life, that along with my caring for my kids, I was the local “koolaid mom”, I served in my school, and I served in my community. She witnessed me from afar go crazy juggling my responsibilities with a smile while my secret stress and sorrows ran through me. I held it all together, after all, I was the lady who always gave help, not got help. I was not in a “need box”. I did not need money. I could hold it all together, even now, with my children ill I could speak of hope and healing and being strong! ——————– Karen had listened and heard, that my middle son was being moved to intensive care at Children’s Memorial Hospital here in Chicago. That is the place where the real sick kids go. I would go there and stay in quarantine with him for as long as it took. I was home packing. Karen knew that people who hold it all together and don’t much ask for help, need love too sometimes. She came over to my home. She didn’t ask of course. She just came. “I hope you don’t mind, she said. I don’t want to bother, but I want to do SOMETHING” “To help, to show my love” “I know that you cant come up with a job to delegate to me, I know you don’t want to talk or cry” ” I know you don’t need a gift card” “I can clean. Im good at that.” “If you don’t mind, while you pack, I will help clean and close up your home and get your mail, so that when you are gone, you need not worry about those things, and you will not have to come home to a load of work, or rotten milk, or a yard to mow” THAT HELPED ME. And she cleaned. She vacuumed under my couch, scrubbed my fridge, scrubbed the tub, sorted the socks, mowed the yard, hugged me, told the neighborhood kids where we were, and let me pack and leave, while she went on. I felt no burden to talk or direct her or stay with her. I did not ask. No, I did not NEED a deep cleaning. No, she could not directly heal my son. No, I would not have died if she did not help. I did not even know that I had a need. I did not realize that I had been feeling alone in my battle. I did take worry off of me, far more than I realized I had. It did show me that she cared. I felt loved. It encouraged me to go on helping others, since I was helped in my time of need. I went to the hospital MUCH stronger in spirit. Who knows how important my strength of spirit may have been to the recovery of my son who I held in bed for 3 days straight as he neared kidney failure. Who knew I would need that strength when I got the “death talk” from the doctors. Who knew how strong it would make me when I calmed down grandma who heard the news about her grandson, and who watched the news on tv about those who had died. Who knew that my calmness could help my son and his doctors as well. Karen didn’t know. She just loved from a place of empathy and compassion because, we are not called to know, but to love. I will never forget that day when Karen cleaned. ——————————

A Disney-ABC executive’s Love without agenda

Lisa O'Brien-Wentzel — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 01:03:35 +0000

It was hot, loud and crowded at Cornerstone Festival in Illinois. Young artists lined the streets to play loud but purposeful and passionate music, hardcore stuff. A lot of black clothing, a lot of tatoos and piercings, a lot of life wanting to burst forth. I love young people. The LWA kids were painting on second run t-shirts the word “Stop Consuming..”, when we met “Mama Dawn” A rocker herself, she was in a band called Crumbacher as a young adult. Now a single mom of teens and a Senior Management executive at Disney-ABC in California using her musical talents. The kids that hover around her call her Mama Dawn, she appears to have 20 or so kids. In listening to her amazing story, we found that she got her name Mama Dawn by sharing her “free time”, her home, and her spare money with local kids who needed some family-ing, you might say. Sure, Mama was in the worship band at church and some of the kids went, some didnt. Sometimes young adults have a hard time finding a place in Churches where they belong. Maybe because they have issues and questions. Maybe because they have tattoos and piercings. Maybe because are hardcore. They are artsy and don’t sit still very well. They dont get up early. They wear hats inside. Regardless, walking a life of faith and purpose as Mama and her family do, is a day in, day out forever deal. Its about becoming whole and mature in every single moment. Its about heart, soul and mind. Its about who you are at home and times when “no one is looking”. We all have pink tongues and questions about life. Mama knows this with all her heart. So, she loves, accepts, listens, encourages. She models what it looks like to live with purpose and belief in God, and still be hardcore. She models a great picture of a whole, healthy and complete woman and follower of God as she believes, Jesus. We chatted at Cornerstone about our Shema House, the house where the 4 men lived. The following month she called and told us that she wanted to create more time in her life for her home and kids. She left ABC. She left prestige. She left a great paycheck and benefits. She left security. She left a two hour commute. She knew she must let go of one bar and momentarily be holding on to nothing before she could move on to the next. She took a risk to love. She gave herself full time to do life with the kids. Mama Dawn started her own business, Take Two Productions and freelanced while running her home full time. They named it “Open Arms”. The boys bedroom had bunk beds, enough for 15 or so boys. The girls room had a little less people and a lot more hair equipment. Her own high school kids helped manage the home; they have the same inner strength, wisdom, talent and love as their mom. I dont know what you think, but I think anyone who lives with 20 teens is … amazing + a saint+ super woman+ a visionary +deeply sacrificial+ nuts for a reason. The garage held a real live band, every night, every weekend. The home was always busy. How to manage garbage, chores, showers and eating suddenly become the big project. Pizza boxes and Taco Bell leftovers are a big part of life. Fortunately, learning to “love” in the basic home chores of life is an invaluable process and the first step towards to becoming a whole person. So, it works. Loud, busy, messy, connected, loving, accepting, supporting, fun and real. Many people think that once our kids get older, they don’t need much adult help. In fact they need just the right kind of help. Life coaching. How and why to go to school. How to fill out those forms. How to find a job. How to have a friend of the opposite sex. How to say no or yes. What to eat, what to drink, what to do with your free time. Learning about purpose in life, work balanced with fun. Learning who we are, not who the world tells us we should be. Learning who they are, no matter what they look like. Learning to use money well. What about faith, belief, church and the things adults tell us we should do? Where can they ask, where can they be silent and wonder, where can they be free to try “not believing” if they want. Where can they see lived out in front of them a good Way in the growing years? Above all, young adults need a safe place where they can try all this life stuff out, and fail, and be valued at the end of the day. This is Open Arms. ————————- With sadness I must tell you that you wont find the Open Arms home today, they lost that home. Although a connected family they do struggle without that central location. But with joy I tell that you will find Mama and her “kids” some now adults, dreaming and working towards a new home. The love and lessons they received they long to pass on.

4 Men and a House

Lisa O'Brien-Wentzel — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 06:35:32 +0000

I am super lucky enough to know some great men, very great men, the kind of men that women dream of being around, the kind of men that they think are never to be found. They live with profound purpose and values, they get crap done, they are conquers for good, smashing the bad stuff all around. They protect, they model, they sacrifice, they are patient and disciplined. They are true, passionate and yet faithful. They don’t throw away money and come home drunk, they engage with all people in real ways. They do not lay around on couches with their hands in their pants, they work hard, for others. They do not wear khaki pants and fear making changes and confrontations in life, they are strong in the right way. They are generous. They are not perfect. They do not cover weakness with fake manliness power accessories. They have crap and they clean it. They are young, travel, tech savvy, global thinking and intelligent. ————- Sometimes they are unrecognized for their greatness. Those looking for $$ gold coast bachelor pads may very well walk by their home. They live together as roomates. They share their place with other folks. Kids who need a place to just be. Folks who need acceptance and a pinch of hope, even on a the weekend when most single young men are “doing something”. They give away their garage to hold a foodshare, and scape snow off their cars instead. Local moms and kids are working the pantry at 7am when they were up till 4am with the boys. They teach those teen boys, who hang around enough to become family, how to chop wood. They watch Sunday sports with them, they teach them how to really treat a girl, and what not to watch on their computer or tv. They become a “family”. Together they serve at the homelessness shelter, they camp, they paintball, they fish, they bbq, they volunteer in countless service projects, they help the local families to move furniture and even babysit. They help take foods to the senior center. They do lots of dishes. They clean up far too many pizza boxes and find random socks and popcorn in the corner. They share their computers, their big screen tv, their fancy photo equipment, their fishing gear, cars, bikes, food, more food, leather furniture, blankets and pillows, coats, shower, and TIME, with the boys and the girls that come along with them. They give themselves over to others in a way that sometimes exhausts them. Sometimes they just want to….eat their pizza….or sit on their nice clean sofa alone….or buy vitamin waters and know that no one else will drink them! Then… They get taken for granted by the people they help. or.. They get mistaken as social odd balls as outsiders looking for bachelors that are like the ones on t.v. MAKE NO MISTAKE. THEY HAVE NO SECRET AGENDA. THIS IS LOVE …from the men at Love Without Agenda WE CALLED IT THE SHEMA HOUSE. where 4 great eligible bachelors have multiplied in many.

One Woman’s Love Without Agenda

Lisa O'Brien-Wentzel — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 00:28:16 +0000

She is up at 5 am every morning. First, to take care of a few pets, her paying job. Then, to take care of her family. Finally, to take care of people around her in need of a little help. She wants no pay, no prize, no pictures, no converts, no business connections. Liz is part of the food redistribution process. This is what that looks like: 7am every Friday freezing rain 100 degrees pick up truck strong arms the food and the people wait Using her husbands pick up truck, off we go to Trader Joes. Outside, 20 heavy garbage bags await. They are filled with unsaleable food, still healthy but not fully fresh. Huge bags of over ripe bananas, too much weight for the bag to carry, almost too much weight for our arms to pick up. Sometimes, we knock over the grocery cart to get the bag out and help each other lift the bag. Sometimes there are eggs in the bag, we keep an eye as so to remove them. Large bags of bread, apples, veggies and sometimes cheese with a tad of mold. Pies and cakes and treats will be enjoyed. We empty the grocery carts into the pickup truck, grateful for everything. Grateful to for our bicep workout. Grateful to make it easy for stores to donate. No complaining ever from us, everyone pitching in to help is what this is about. Working in the cold is better for the food than the heat of the summer. Next, off to Costco. Baskets and baskets of bakery items. This is a sport of another skill, bagel toss! Nothing is in a large bag here, so we toss bags of bagels into the truck, maybe 200. We make mountains of muffins and coffee cakes, filling every nook we can find. Off to the food pantry or the church to take the food, depending on the day. We must go to Whole foods but must empty the truck first. Every day the food goes somewhere else, often each day is shared and so we try to sort though the bags as we drop off. In and out of the truck we haul. Now, over to Whole foods. They have some dairy. Sheep’s milk, coconut yogurt, tofu and some of those things you find only at Whole Foods. Oh, they also have 40 boxes of popcorn. 2 more trips today. We have to take it today, by 1pm or it may get tossed. The grocers need their space. We load the truck, deliver the food again. The food pantry has volunteers to help unload, the church did not, so we did all the carrying in there too. We go back, load again, deliver again. Costco called. They have a ping-pong table for a youth group it we can get that too! Of course we do. We delivered that to her husbands garage, unloaded it, he fixed it, we loaded it again and delivered it. We put gas in the truck, 100.00. I am sure she never asked for gas money. It is noon and we must get back to our jobs and families. I loved time working with this “secret angel” and social innovator. In every section of society there are the most needy, the seniors in homes, the struggling single moms and their kids, those out of work or unable, most of them in need of a little help and a little hope. Liz makes sure that they all get a bit of both. Liz is wearing a brace on her wrist, and I am helping her because her back has started to hurt, Liz has done this lifting alone for 20 years. I am sure her injuries are from her heavy lifting habits. She has no regrets, or plans to stop. People have come to trust her and depend on her, who will care for them? You know, without an agenda.

Valentine’s Without Agenda (at Starbucks)

Lisa O'Brien-Wentzel — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 18:16:26 +0000

I was in Starbucks talking with Katie, the barista and my friend. She was the “drink maker girl”, an outstanding one at that. An upbeat and chatty quadriplegic customer in a wheel chair came in and ordered some specially pressed iced coffee, with just the right kind of milk, and the right kind of syrup and the right amount of ice. He asked Katie lots of questions about the drink and the syrups as she was creating this special drink for him. Katie gracefully managed to care for his drink while she cared for a few other customers all at the same time. When Katie came around from the counter to had the man his drink, he requested that she give him a sip to try. He requested a tad more syrup, and then another sip, or two. Back around the counter and back out front she came. Clearly he was edging on asking her to go “above and beyond”. Many baristas would have been annoyed or just out of their comfort zone on this one. Katie did not seem uncomfortable, and if she was, she must have chose to move beyond it for his sake. He asked for her to fix his hat which had creeped down over his eyes a bit, and place his drink in his cup holder. He chatted on about all kinds of stuff in between the service. When Katie gently placed her hands onto his hat and placed it just right upon his head, and lovingly and patiently placed that green straw just right into his mouth, with no impatience or annoyance in her demeanor, and helped him to take a drink of the fine beverage that she made for him, he was elated. “Oh, that is perfect! and makes my day!” He said. Katie had more customers to get to, and some of us tried to take over and see him out the door, so that she could care for her other customers as well. Katie doesn’t just mix drinks, she adds value to people. That is cool.

Daily valentines without agenda

Lisa O'Brien-Wentzel — Sat, 15 Jan 2011 01:19:25 +0000

In a month it will be Valentine’s Day, the heart candies and dog biscuits are already at The Home Depot checkout. Inside of me and you, and everybody, even grouches and hard hearts, there is something just as sweet and love-evoking as candy. I would like for us to share it here on the Love Without Agenda blog. This ‘sweet stuff’ we humans have is a mixture of inspiration, innovation, collaboration, sacrifice and hope. These are energies that all humans and only humans are born with. Sharing them guarantees that we can keep them, while the adversaries of life seek to take them from us. Everyday I will post a ‘Love Without Agenda’ action, or valentine. I invite you to post your valentine as comment for others to see, some of these we will repost or retweet. The only requirement for our actions would be that they give love without expectation of anything in return. If you don’t think you can do that I would suggest to try it anyway and get as close as you can to love without expectation and do something uncharacteristically nice, you gotta start somewhere. If you are left unthanked and unappreciated and don’t get mad, then you have succeeded! If you do get mad remember: We give love because this is who we are, and that is enough. These Love without agenda valentines come in all shapes and sizes and from all corners of life. They can be things you do or see others do or wanted to do, but were afraid. They can, and should, be towards your kids and spouse and friends and coworkers. Love starts at home where we can think ‘no one is looking’, which is a lie, love always leaves a mark, as does the choice not to love. Be alert! love opportunities are in every moment! This is why we need to encourage one another in love because we do get tired and need to be appreciated. Here are a few love examples from my day today: Big- Our ebook even after going through a few edits and many eyeballs still has typos. One reader and old friend not only gave the advice to edit once more, but was willing to edit all 500 pages herself. Her comments were corrective yet positive and life giving. Love is found in how we do what we do. Lucky for us, she is also detailed, organized, an English major and a great editor. No paychecks or perks, we were loved without agenda. Medium- Spencer stopped by to hand me the newly edited ebook, letting me know he was in a hurry to be off to work. In walked some kids still home from school break. We shared soup and conversation, setting our agenda aside for just a bit. Listening to a kid when you are busy, that is golden love. Small- Someone I don’t know thanked me for an idea I had shared with them, they said It was “brilliant”, thats love! Small- I took the time to “yelp” a service oriented business. Slowing down to give feedback is love. Small- Tonite I will make a healthy dinner after I will have cleaned our apartment. Laying a foundation for others to be their best is love. Above all, loving others without an agenda connects human to human in such a way that transfers value both to the giver and the receiver. It is a forever touch that says “You are valuable”. What’s your ‘love without agenda’ moment?

Jimmy Spencer Jr. @ Judson University

Jimmy Spencer Jr. — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 18:28:06 +0000

I was fortunate enough to get to speak to the students at Judson University a private Christian school outside of Chicago during one of their weekly chapel services. It was great to get to connect with the students and to talk with them afterwards—very life-giving and encouraging for the future. You can listen to the audio from the service below, and check out some shots my buddy Brad shot from around the chapel. Hope that you enjoy it (and it makes you think some too).