Posts Tagged ‘change’

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loving lives we don’t live

Thursday, June 26th, 2008
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i dont like PEOPLE magazine, never did. even worse, i hate talking with people about the people stories in PEOPLE magazine. i DO think PEOPLE magazine is smart and respect everything about the business. it’s just not of interest to me to talk about hollywood stars as if i really knew them. i also bet that if i had a hollywood star friend, she would feel the same way.
yet it seems like i am often stuck working my way out of such conversations, long ones about people we will never can really know. and PEOPLE magazine sells better than anything ive done. i write this blog and everyone knows what PEOPLE magazine is. because we people love to talk about lives that we dont live. ive pondered this since i was a child. why do we tend to lean towards spending time and energy on things that do not really produce anything? anything for now or anything for later. anything for us or another. seems illogical.and it then feeds a machine that leaves us hungry.
hungry for real relationships some say.
hm. true.
but. we often talk and write about relationships and Read more...

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learning to lead

Friday, April 18th, 2008

i just made it up another life step with my 18 year old son. this past 2 years have been a huge inner life change for both of us. I have watched him turn from:
a silly 16 year old, part goofy kid, part responsible man
a more serious 17 year old, having faced his gas bill, working for jewel foods, applying for college.
into an 18 year old. he grew as he faced the joys of college acceptance and reality of rejection. he grew as he sifted through all of the advice thrown his way on what he needs to do to make it in this world.
he thought about what “making it” means
and what defines happiness
and seeing that he is great fish yet a little one in a big pond

He is ready to leave home in the summer.

this is what we raise them to do, to be ready to go out on their own.

as i saw the moment come where i realized that he is beyond ready
for he will do better outside of my home

i guess i did not expect this moment but i now see
that real readiness is when his growth is possibly inhibited by my constant Read more...

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do we need rules?

Sunday, April 13th, 2008

we love the idea of spaces with no rules

we love the fill those spaces with rules
we want rules for others but not ourselves

anarchy. communism. paganism. cults. open system. corporate system. hell. heavan. strict parenting. buddy parenting.
one day one of my kids said “mom, how do we have a good family if we have no rules?” another said” yea, do you ever say no?” as you listen to these questions, your mind may jump to this picture of me and my kids laying around in a pig sty home smoking weed. please abstain. i have said no a few times.

we dont have rules because we live by one simple value: mutual respect. and it works out which is nto always the case, i know i am blessed.
we live well because we chose to add on top of that another value: love.
its truly beautiful. in some way it could be called invisible rules

rules come into play when any part of the group doesnt chose to live by respect. right?
a rule is then placed into play in order to protect from damage.
we dont want to go there. but Read more...

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beautiful emptiness

Tuesday, March 18th, 2008
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I have been pondering today empty spaces and the potential space for beauty that only they provide.

simple pictures:
new garden soil, ready to plant spring flowers or weeds
a nice clean empty table by the front door, very soon holds our keys and cell phones
a now empty bedroom can be a home to someone.
empty calendar time can give room to serve others
an undone job can be a new purpose for another

soul portraits:
empty feelings
failing to measure up
empty life purpose
fruitless life relationships
heartless traditions
fakey family
lifeless groups
unhappy seekers
off purpose churches
non focused faith
meaningless materials
nothing to trust
inability to be satisfied
in wonder of belonging
no joy in being
sitting in puddles of excuses
living limited
self misundersanding

unanswered questions

we search for the answer
to our weakness. our unmet need.
the non-answer is a ground work for a change to blossom
Read more...

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my favorite age is: in between

Saturday, March 1st, 2008

a friend of mine asked me what my favorite age was, either for myself or for raising my children.

i answered : IN BETWEEN

Because i love the process of growth. see, its not so much the plateau, the year, the ability, the freedom, the intelligence, the fun,the control or the lack of difficulty that i seek, but the process of going from one to the other.

i find it interesting that people love:
heros
overcomers
winners
successes
intimacy
romance
rags to riches
underdogs
bootstrap stories
the mighty ducks
disney movies

we love to hear the story of the one who started low, and ended high.
we dream romantic dreams of being one of “those” heros.
we long for intimacy
we value the athlete who overcame a weakness above the one with natural talent.

yet we so often live our daily life rushing thru process ourselves. impatiently rushing to the next….anything.
looking at the next step so much that we miss the one we are on.

the real beauty is not Read more...

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the hospitality of poverty

Friday, September 9th, 2005
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I have a book called “design for the other 90%”

90 % refers to the 5.8 billion/90% of the world who have little or no access to most of the products and services that many of us take for granted. Nearly half do not have access to life sustaining food, water or shelter. This book tells of current collaborations of top engineers and others at the Smithsonian who have now shifted focus of their talents to help this 90% live well. I love the mission and the name of the book, because in my american privilege and power I forget that i am only a part. ” To him who had been given much, much is required” , I long to never forget….

My brief stay among this 90%, otherwise called poor, on a couple of missions trips, along with my ample reading of others whom have lived outside of the US have now re-defined HOSPITALITY for me. In my opinion, the less afluent understand hospitality in a far deeper level than the wealthy. The hospitality of poverty is so beautiful that no longer do I see the entertaining that we call hospitality the real deal. How can Read more...

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